Fall in Love with Jesus

My heart beating fast
Lips blossom the smile
Soul feel the everlasting Joy
Tenderness kiss

Tired to be fake
Put it into Real
I am with this heavy broken
down on my knee
begging this empty

Let me free
My shadow over the darkness
run bravely to the true light when inside ME overwhelming
with sorrow and pain through
I fall in Love with Jesus :)

This is my poem and I dedicated  to My Prince Jesus, I know since the beginning  He own my heart , I am not perfect but He loves my imperfection and at the time I AM COMPLETE!!!!!!!


I put my picture and my friend Sonia, she is inspiring me how she loves God and stand with her values ,God has a reason to put someone in your life and I thank God :)

Love starting from Home :)

Did you ever  fighting with your siblings?
Did you ever  hurt their heart?
Did you ever being selfish with them ? 
Did you love them more then anything else?
Did you care with them and worried about them?
Will sacrifice everything for their happiness?
Yes i did all of this and  feel confuse because how if i love  but also hurting them in same time?
I am not a perfect one as a sister and sometime just over control and doing bad things then  i realized that i love them so much and they are a part of me and i should control my anger toward them like i do with other people, it's hard work because how many times you fighting with them we will still a best friend, it's makes us to give lower effort to treat them well during your anger time but it will big effort to treat others.
Like Mother Teresa said Love starting in Home so i want to love my sisters, family  and best friends first so that our love will be reflected to others outside  :)Amen. God Help me!!!!!!

So pity ;(

Dear,

Today i was sad because my favorite idol since 14 years old Cristiano Ronaldo just coming to Indonesia as ambassador of Mangrove but i can't go there uhhuuhuh, my friend tagged me about his picture during he came to Cristiano's place in Bali to see him. I am so jealous huhu I hope i will have another chance to meet him one day and someday God hear my prayer Amen :)

Who is Jesus for you?

Dear,

Today was a touching day for me because during the priest homily , he asking us Who is Jesus for you?  some people answer Jesus is Lord, Savior and best friend. For the priest Jesus is his best friend and Lord and this question touched my heart and help me to reflect my faith towards Him. at the time i was crying because i realized how many times i ignored him and let him chase me rather than loving him back.
I was remember all of my happiness and difficulty times when He always be my only one i was talking about everything, about my life. Jesus is more and more for me. He is i am belong to. I want to love him in any circumstances and praise His name :) so i have question for you, WHO IS JESUS FOR YOU?

Just Love!

 I  fall in Love with you completely because no one ever make me  feel this deep feeling before but i know that it just over , praying to God to take away this feeling but it's still the same even after one year, He has another plan that i don't know yet but I am thank full for Him, this is an opportunity for me to grow and be patient. Someday i will know and be grateful for all process the i have been through. Just let things go if it comes back i know it is mine if not it never meant to be :)

Trent Shelton

Trusting God doesn't always make the mountain smaller, it makes it easier to climb. Faith doesn't mean you won't have problems, it means you'll have the POWER to defeat your struggles. Live strong in Christ today

This My Life

I found out that my heart is  looking for the relationship with God more than just doing religion ceremony or using the religion symbols to showing me as a Catholic or the believer of  Jesus Christ. I want to have a good communication with God, to fall in love with Him, spend and charish my time with Him and give completely my self to Him. It's not easy just  like if  i claps my hands , it needs effort and sacrifice. I am the person who curious about everything and can't be patient so sometime i can't wait and rush for everything. I want something i want to be happen or i get, i worried more about what people may think than what God's think about me. I pray and asking Him so i may overcome all of my weakness to engage to His divine mercy and Love, Not my will Lord but Your will should be done, Do God's will and He will provides everything you need. Nothing impossible with GOD Amen!

Your Life as a gift of GOD

He creates each of us special and no one can be replicate. He knows us better and with every special strengths and weakness, characters and our suppose in this world. Each of us have missions in our life and all of us belong to Him, make him the center of our life. With a humble heart let him doing His plans completely within our self. It may not what we wanted but it is what we need. Trust Him He loves you more, be the gift of God to other people♥

DESIRE

Here I am

Walking away from this live

Avoid things thought I would be better

The truth is I just pushing back 

 Weary and regrets 

I am running fastest

Though I will be the winner

But I am a loser at all

Dying in this pain

Looking for happiness

Though I will find the peace

But here burning with the worried

Everything I need, I looking out from you

The source of peace and Happiness

This is my self

Here I am

Take my self and bring it closer to you

As I am fall to you Oh My soul desires  

My Lord

Sometime

Sometime people expect more about your life, it's good but remember that sometime it may something you are not expect because you have your own mind and feeling.It may means more to them but maybe not for you, respect not always mean you have to fulfill someone else dream, it's about You and your dream.pray and Work hard.

Weird Dream

Dear,
Last night i had a weird dream. I had a dream that i lost my laptop and at the time i was crying so much and told my father and mother that i want to die because in my laptop it was all my memories, photos, videos, writings and all my dreams and wishes that  i put inside my laptop. My father, My mother and sisters just ignore me and said what we can do? the thief just come inside the house last night and took your laptop.I just think they don't understand me and i crying and continue crying and lay my self in the floor and crying like a child. Suddenly when i crying i saw the some wrapped gifts and i can see the side of my laptop inside it, i stop crying and my sisters realized that i may see something and they took all the gifts and hide it.
This is a weird dream for me but now i just realized that last time i ask God for something that i really want specially in this last one year. I had pray it before and i did not get it until now and in the last moment in my prayer last night i said to God that i think you did not give me yet because you know what i need and maybe it wasn't i need. I put everything in your hand and i don't want to asking why you don't give me yet. I want to wait in you right time and not mine. If i connecting with my dream last night i think God prepare something good for me and maybe it is what i want or maybe more but the gift still be hide until the time the should be given to me :).


I know You loves me more and more God, no one can love me and satisfied my soul like You do to me, I am sorry for not appreciate it as much as i should.  I am sorry to blame you for my disappointed and pain as i may not know your greater plan trough my hardest time. I didn't obey and waiting patiently for your way and gifts. By now i want to put my faith only in You and please help me to wait patiently and Glorified Your name in My life. AMEN.

"Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see". ~Hebrews 11:1♥

So Happy

Dear,
Yesterday i was so happy, as you know i am working freelance as English Mentor for student , one of my student said she was a best speaker in her group presentation , I think she deserved it and so happy for her. She worked hard for that, i helped her in 3 days for prepare her presentation and listened her, translate her books  and i saw how hard she gave effort for that.  I thank God because He gave me chance to help her even it maybe just a little things.

Random Beautiful Poem

Dear,
Just found in FB random beautiful poem :)

If he's the one, he will move into your heart like a gentle sea breeze,
invading your mind with Love's essence while setting your soul at ease.
He will see you as a priceless treasure and not a useless trophy,
encouraging you to grow into the divine woman you are meant to be.
He will accept your flaws and imperfections with open arms,
but will love you too much to let you stay the way that you are.
If he's the one, he will be patient in winning your love and affection,
knowing the way to your heart is through Godly dedication.
He will touch your heart and not your body,
and in his eyes, your dignity will be undeniably sexy.
If he's the one, he will be strong where you are weak,
and build you up when you're on the ground in defeat.
His word will be his honor and he will keep his promises,
while leading you into a place of trusted bliss.
He will feel honored to be loved by you so unconditionally,
for he will know that in his hands lies a genuine rarity.
He will be God's agent on a divine mission to heal your heart,
leading you out of the dark while preparing you for a brand new start.
Wait for the man who will pray with you and for all that concerns you,
Don't let anyone tell you that this is dream that will never come true.
Don't put your hope in fairytales and prince charmings,
Put your hope in the LORD and he will lead you to a KING.
(You Are A Queen)

Letter of a Broken Heart

Dear,
Hey, i was just get inbox msge from my best friend to read in online newspaper about Indian actress who committed to suicide because her disturbed relationship. it's was touching my heart and give a big lesson .Her younger sister found this letter in her pocket 3 days after she died. I feel so sorry for her and her family and hope she get a good place in God Kingdom. I also hope all women and men can read this and learn from this story. never playing someone heart's because you never imagine how it will affect someone and love as you should not take it for granted because someone love you that much. every of us should love without a desire to something return. i remember one of my favorites speaker book's title Find your soul mate without loosing your self. 

I don't know how to say this to you but I might as well now as I have nothing to lose. I've already lost everything. If you're reading this I might have already left or about to leave. I am broken inside. You may not have known this but you affected me deeply to a point where I lost myself in loving you. Yet you tortured me everyday. These days I see no light I wake up not wanting to wake up.

There was a time I saw my life with you, a future with you. But you shattered my dreams. I feel dead inside. I've never given so much of myself to someone or cared so much. You returned my love with cheating and lies. It didn't matter how many gifts I gave you or how beautiful I looked for you. I was scared of getting pregnant but I gave myself completely the pain you have caused me everyday has destroyed every bit of me, destroyed my soul. I can't eat or sleep or think or function. I am running away from everything. The career is not even worth it anymore.

When I first met you I was driven, ambitious and disciplined. Then I fell for you, a love I thought would bring out the best in me. I don't know why destiny brought us together. After all the pain, the rape, the abuse, the torture I have seen previously I didn't deserve this. I didn't see any love or commitment from you. I just became increasingly scared that you would hurt me mentally or physically. Your life was about partying and women. Mine was you and my work. If I stay here I will crave you and miss you. So I am kissing my 10-year career and dreams goodbye. I never told you but I received a message about you. About you cheating on me. I chose to ignore it, decided to trust you. You embarrassed me. I never went out, I never went with anyone else. I am a loyal person. I never met anyone with Karthik I just wanted you to feel how you make me feel constantly. No other woman will give you as much as I did or love you as much as I did. I can write that in my blood.

Things were looking up for me here, but is it worth it when you constantly feel the pain of heartbreak when the person you love wants to abuse you or threatens to hit you or cheats on you telling other girls they are beautiful or throws you out of their house when you have no where to go and you've come to them out of love or when they lie to your face or they make you chase after them in their car. Or disrespects their family. You never even met my sister. I bought your sister presents. You tore my soul. I have no reason to breathe anymore. All I wanted was love. I did everything for you. I was working for us. But you were never my partner. My future is destroyed my happiness snatched away from me. I always wished the best for you, was ready to invest what little money I had in your betterment. You never appreciated my love, Kicked me in the face. I have no confidence or self esteem left, whatever talent whatever ambition you took it all away. You destroyed my life. It hurt me so much that I waited for you for ten days and you didn't bother buying me something.

The Goa trip was my birthday present but even after you cheated I still spent on you. I aborted our baby when it hurt me deeply. You destroyed my Christmas and my birthday dinner when I came back. When I tried my hardest to make your birthday special. You chose to be away from me on Valentines Day. You promised me once we made it to one year we would get engaged.

All you want in life is partying, your women and your selfish motives. All I wanted was you and my happiness you took both away from me. I spent money on you selflessly. You would laugh in my face when I would cry for you. I have nothing left in this world to live for after this. I wish you had loved me like I loved you. I dreamt of our future. I dreamt of our success. I leave this place with nothing but broken dreams and empty promises. All I want now is to go to sleep and never wake up again. I am nothing. I had everything. I felt so alone even while with you. You made me feel alone and vulnerable. I am so much more than this

Positive Comment

Dear,
Today i was so happy because some of my friends give really positive comments about my blog :) it means so much to me. When i was child i loved to write story even had a dream to have my own book but after grown up i felt so lazy to write something except poem and quotes and i think i don't have enough capability for write good story. Their appreciation to what i wrote give me new spirit to write again and think i can do more :). I just excited now to write more and more specially about my experience during travel :) . Wait..... it willl coming soon hehehhe God Bless :)

TRENT SHELTON

If a person makes you feel like being yourself isn't good enough then you know that person isn't good enough for you. KEEP BEING YOURSELF. It's not your job to change who you are to be apart of someone's life, but it's up to them to deal with who you are if they want to be apart of yours.Only change to please God not people. ~Trent Shelton~♥

Thank You Lord

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:1-2)

Dear I am so happy today after disappointed because get rejected from a program that i applied i get another chance from another program to work as teacher in different island, it is so amazing :) i know this is God's plan because He knows the best for me :) Hope everything going well and i can do my best.  My heart is praise God :)

Lesson Today :)

Today i learned something that when you fall in Love even whole world tell he is just ordinary guy but in your eyes he is Extraordinary :)

Your name in my prayer

Just missing someone but  never noticed that
Try to killing this feeling hurt me sometime
Pretend that everything is ok but it isn't
Just hope you are ok in somewhere

Your name i put in my prayer every night
that God protects you in your life
brings you happiness and love
Find your way and stay strong
if it is God will hope our path will cross in the future
One day and somewhere :)

Not Lucky

Dear,

Today i was  little bit sad because i just got email and i rejected for Indonesia Mengajar Programs that i really hope to teach in small villages and islands but it's fine maybe that's not my way and i now God has another plan for me. One of my friends chat with me and said God will brings something that He knows you are ready for that and He will gives it to you :) it's amazing words that i heard, it was reduce my sadness and disappointed. Thank you so much.

My prayer : God You knows me very well. You knows my heart, my mind, my soul, my body and You put my dignity worth. Thank God to bring me this far and i try my best in every chance i get and not my will but your will i follow :) Help me to use my self for the glory of  Your kingdom and to service you and other people.

Amen.  Fighting :) Keep Spirit. in 100% your successful contains 99% your failed :)

Random Beautiful :)

Just find out something beautiful in facebook by Trent Shelton :)

I want you to smile at yourself because you're beautiful, and let no opinion tell you any different. The thing I learned about life is most people are going to see your flaws and not your beauty. You're going to be imperfect to most, but you'll always be perfect for the heart that God has for you. You got to understand that there's going to be somebody somewhere at sometime that's going to find something wrong with you; but the something wrong they find is nothing but the something right to the heart that's searching for you. You might be too big or too small in their eyes, but you're the perfect size for the heart that's meant to love you. You might be too outgoing or too shy in their eyes, but you got the perfect personality for the heart that's meant to love you. You might be too white, too black, too brown in their eyes, but you're the perfect color for the heart that's meant to love you. The first step to being unhappy in life is trying to please everybody else. People are different and have different taste, but never let those differences make you insecure of who you are. I want you to stop spending so much time in the mirror critiquing yourself, and start spending the rest of your days loving and appreciating yourself. You're beautiful because God said so, and that's ALL the confirmation you need. Remember, there will always be something about you that's not right, to a person who's not right for you. Your flaws are perfect for the heart that's meant to love you. Find someone who accepts you for you. Stay beautiful and keep practicing that smile. You're perfect. #RehabTime SMILE SMILE SMILE SMILE SMILE is the beautiful Gift you can give to other people.

I am Yours

You own my heart ,my soul and my self. I want to give it completely because Your love never failed. it's hard sometimes going through this journey but i have You and nothing more i need♥

Soul Prayer

Dear Lord, see me through these hard times. In these troubling times, I am filled with unspeakable fears. I reach out my hand to you now and ask you to walk beside me. I cannot carry all my burdens, but I know you can, and will. Please walk beside me. Please guide me. Please help me hold on strong through the trials and storms. Help me hold on to my faith even in the darkest hour. Stay with me Lord and show me Your way. In your love and Holy Spirit I abide. Amen.

Random Pictures

Here my random pictures :P

Smile is the best gift you can give to other ~ Mother Teresa~

Rest in Peace My Grand Father

Today was the one of the most sadness moments in my life to lost my grandfather who i closed with. It is so hard to accept how fast you leave us all. Your love and care and every moments we passed  together always reminds me. I am sorry that i did not visit you yet, i am sorry to not give you enough love and care. In my heart i love you so much and your memory always be in my mind and my heart. Thank you for all that you have done to me and all families specially when i was live with you in 2 months my internship in Dili. You were not only my grandfather but you were be really father who cares ,protect  and understand me. Once again I love you so much and Rest in Peace Opa Angelo Magno hope you are Happy in Heaven with Grand Mom and God also Mother Mary. Amen. 

With Love 

Your Grand Daughter 

My Soul Prayer

Dear My lovely God,
I am so happy to know and believe that you love me with everlasting love.
You are my father who always forgives me when i make mistakes, hold me when i lost my whole strength and catch me when i fall down.
You cherish with me and smile when i am happy and my tears hurt your heart. You heal and comfort  me with your love. You never leave me alone.
Your plan for me is wonderful and even sometime it is so hard to understand and follow it
but from this day on i want to give all my heart and my life for you, using it for your glory and help me to grow in your love and understand your will. Give me enough patient to wait your time and not in my time.
I want to define my self not by my own eyes and understanding but in your self alone.
I looking for happiness and i know you are my heart desires. Amen.

GOD LOVES NEVER FAILED

Just look around the facebook page and find something interesting ;)

Many times people don't turn out to be who we thought they were, and the people we love are the ones who hurt us the most... But we must keep moving foward, God puts people in our lives for a good reason and takes them away for even a BETTER reason! We may think, it too hard to move on, and it is. To move on ALONE! But not with God's help; remember we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us! (Philippians 4:13) God can heal a broken heart, but you need to give Him all the pieces..

Brother

When i was child i really want to have big brother but even i don't have brother but i am so happy that God send so many good brothers in my life :) 

They are not only my best friends but they make me feel that i have brother and make me so happy :) 

We have talking, hangout, watching, singing, study, fighting, eating, sleepover and traveling, we cherish every moment together as our friendship is everlasting. 

I hope one day i will find my soul mate who first can be my Best friend, brother and husband and father for my beautiful Children :) Amen. GOD IS SO AMAZING! 

A part of memories

It almost a year passed but you are still be someone special in my heart,

It was the one of the most sadness moment , realized how you mean so much to me but in the same time looking you walk away from my life.

In the beginning so hard to accept it but by time to time and when i pray for me and for you, it is my healing time. God brought you to my life  for short time and let you leave me he has a reason, now i still not understand why but i keep trust that he has greats plan for you and me, i hope you are always happy and get closer to God, find your love and destiny and who you are and the same wish for me :)